🔥 Satire. Every line below is the exact opposite of how to actually behave in a race. If you recognise yourself here — well, you know what to do. Read it, laugh, and then go and do none of it. Clean racing wins championships; this guy wins nothing but arguments.
I
You are the best and the fastest. Your boundless skill towers far above everyone else's.
II
Before the rolling start, show the others that you possess the greatest racecraft of all. Make it obvious with wild weaving behind the pace car, plus plenty of hard acceleration and abrupt braking.
III
The race is always won in the first corner. Position yourself so that, the instant the green flag drops, you can stab into every visible gap. Overtaking later, or carefully feeling out your opponent, is out of the question.
IV
The racing line is always yours. It makes no difference whether you're overtaking a slower driver, lapping one, or about to be overtaken yourself. Claim it.
V
After a crash, it is always the other driver's fault. Argue it out down to the last detail — in public, above all, so everyone can see how unjustly you've been treated. Gather followers who think the same way.
VI
Never read the regulations, and ignore the rules that exist.
VII
If you accidentally do read part of a rulebook, or a rule happens to reach your ears, interpret it in your favour — bend it to your advantage.
VIII
Stay in denial. If you are obviously at fault for an incident — and it can even be proven — always blame the event organisers or the league. Their badly planned event is clearly the real reason it happened.
IX
If you receive a penalty for misconduct, leave the league immediately and spread word of this injustice everywhere.
X
Once you've been kicked from a league — or stormed off yourself — find a new one straight away, where your view of sim racing is shared and you finally get the recognition you deserve. If that one doesn't work out either, start again from the top.
Excerpt from the Sim-Racing Gospel, Third Book of Lauda, Chapter 3, Verse 7 ff.